Allah Says in The Quran (interpretation of meaning), “And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hands possess [i.e., slaves]. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]” (Quran 4:3). To put it frankly, Allah is the One who created us and knows what is best for us, therefore, if Allah says something is moral, then it is moral, and anyone who disagrees can never give an objective reasoning of why it is immoral. Therefore, the reason why polygamy is allowed in Islam is because Allah said so. However, let us try to examine some of the wisdoms that may be derived from this.
First of all, Islam is the only religion that actually limits the amount of wives a man can have. According to Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, and many more religions, there is no limit on how many wives a man may have. According to the Bible, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:1-3), Abraham had three wives (Genesis 11:29, 16:3, and 25:1), David had multiple wives and concubines (2 Samuel 5:13), etc. In fact, almost all societies that existed in the past practiced some form of polygamy.
The fact of the matter is that Islam deals with reality. In reality, numerous studies have shown men to be polygamous by nature and women to be hypergamous by nature. On top of that, the polygamy in Islam actually protects the rights of women. How is that? There are many conditions put in place for a man to marry a woman, such as him having to speak to the woman’s father/guardian, the woman having the right to ask for any amount of dowry that she pleases, the man completely providing for her and their children, etc. Even in the world people live in today, a man can sleep with different women every single night and is not denounced for it even in the slightest; in fact, he is seen as a lady’s man and is praised for it. After that, he can throw her to the curb like he had nothing to do with her in the first place. Now how does this secular practice honor the rights of women? The fact of the matter is that it doesn’t. Islam is the only way of life that limits a man to how many women he can be with, and if one feels like they can’t do justice to more than one, Allah limits him to marrying only one. On top of all of that, Allah prohibits the man from having any girlfriends or side chicks while he is married, and he has to take care of and look after the women in all respects. Therefore, how can one claim that Islam does not honor the rights of women when these protocols and conditions are set in place?
Moreover, despite polygamy going inline with our biological nature, it also benefits society as a whole. This includes an increase in population, more divorced/widowed women being able to get remarried, more women being under the protection and the financial responsibility of a single man, etc. An increase in population may be the more imperative benefit; especially in premodern societies, a society that was large in numbers were usually dominant and able to survive, while societies that were small in number would be easily overtaken and would not survive. Lawrence Keeley wrote a book called War Before Civilization where he explains how premodern war was primarily about man power. Keeley says in his book, “Although the loss of even a large percentage of males will have no direct influence on a group’s demographic fortunes (whatever the effect on its military viability may be), the loss or gain of fertile women can mean the difference between population decline and growth.”
It is important to note that despite the wisdoms and benefits mentioned above that may come from polygamy, it may still be harmful in some situations. Just because something is permissible in Islam doesn’t mean that it will always be good, rather, it is overall and generally good for society as a whole. And even if many women may not like the idea of polygamy, nevertheless, it usually still has more benefit than harm. Allah Says in The Quran (interpretation of meaning), “Fighting has been made obligatory upon you ˹believers˺, though you dislike it. Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know” (Quran 2:216). Even at the time of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings be upon him), although the believers did not like to fight in wars, Allah assured them that just because they dislike something doesn’t mean it is not good for them. But nevertheless, if a woman feels like she could never tolerate a polygamous marriage, Islam gives her the full right to put in the marriage contract before marriage that her husband cannot marry a second wife, and the husband would be obliged to honor that obligation.
But with that being said, why can’t a woman have more than one husband? This is because Allah prohibited a woman to have more than one husband. However, some of the wisdoms that may be derived from this is that it is not in a woman’s nature to marry multiple husbands. Woman are hypergamous as mentioned earlier, meaning that they are attracted to and want just one man, but that man has to be superior and alpha to all other men. Also, men generally have a much stronger protective jealously over women than women do over men, and this could cause extreme conflicts and violence between the husbands of the woman. In certain cases, the husbands may lose even more control and hurt their wife if she did such an action. Additionally, and probably the most clear wisdom that may be derived from this, is that back then when there was no advanced technology, how would one know the lineage of their children? This could easily cause severe family problems in knowing who the child’s father is, who should provide for this child, etc. There are many more wisdoms for why Allah decrees a matter, but like mentioned in the beginning, Allah knows what is best for us as He is the One who created us.
To conclude, it should be noted that in Pre-Islamic Arabia, they used to bury their daughters alive, as having a daughter was seen as a disgrace. Women were treated as property with no rights at all. Even in the western world, women were deprived of many of their rights until recently, such as voting. Islam liberated the women, gave them honor, dignity, and their due rights. This is why, despite all of these outrageous, ongoing allegations against the way Islam treats women, most people who convert to Islam are in fact women!
And Allah Knows best.